Wednesday, February 17, 2010

An Unpleasant Encounter at the Laundermat

So I was doing laundry today and Carlee, who is sick, was sleeping in the stroller for most of the time. While the cloths were drying she woke up and so I gave her some snacks and then she fussed a bit while I was trying to get the cloths put into the cart and get out of there (same story as always). Only this time, this lady standing a few dryers down starts talking to Carlee and this is what she says in baby talk tone as she walks closer to us: "hey there, you don't look very happy, what's the matter? Does your mom not talk to you? You look neglected, are you neglected? Are you going to talk to me? Go ahead, tell me." Or something similar. I was like thinking in my head, excuse me!!!! What did you just say??? But she walked away. I sat there and fumed and felt that my heart was hurt by her cruel words. I started to second guess myself as a mother and took a long look at Carlee who was now crying. Paranoid of this ladies judgments wondering if she is going to call Child Services or something, I pick Carlee up and proceed to shove the rest of the cloths in the cart with one hand while I work up the courage to say something to her. On my way out the door I stop by her chair where she is reading and say with much emotion, almost in tears: "Excuse me, I'll have you know what you said to my daughter was very rude and it really hurt me. I work very hard at being a good mom..." She sits forward in her chair, totally alarmed and asks me innocently, "What? What did I say?" I respond confused: "You said I don't talk to her and that she looks neglected." She responds, in shock: "Oh, honey I didn't mean it like that. She is beautiful; look at her. I would never say something like that...I said that only because you were busy doing laundry. Believe me, I know, I have kids." So, at that point I feel dumb. So I say, "Well, good, I am glad I talked to you." She responded the same and we both apologized. There were two other people close by to over hear the conversation. I can think of a few different ways she could have said what she did to Carlee that would have made it come out like she meant it to...

Monday, February 8, 2010

Long Post but Worth Reading

Have you heard of the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader books? Well, I heard about them from a friend and decided to get one for Matt for his birthday (kind of as a joke). When he goes into the bathroom and turns the fan on, I know I won't see him again for a while so I thought he would appreciate some entertainment in there. I have also spend some time in the book and when I read this section, I thought it was quite comical and would like to share:

This is taken directly from a 1950s Home Economics text book:

When Your Husband Gets Home

Have dinner ready: "Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed."

Prepare yourself: "Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touching up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift."

Clear away the clutter: "Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husbands will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too."

Prepare the children: "Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if the are small) comb their hair, and if necessary, change their cloths. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part."

Minimize all noise: "At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him: Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him."

Some don'ts: "Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day."

Make him comfortable: "Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off hi shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax--unwind."

Listen to him: "You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first."

Make the evening his: "Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax."

Is this for real!?!?! Was there a section for the husbands to read? Times have changed, haven't they? I wonder if there were less divorces back then. So, I asked Matt what he thought and he said that he thought is was "great, really good advice..." YES, HE WAS SERIOUS. (I guess there is some good sense in it.)